How to Create a Culture at Home and in Society that Uplifts and Encourages Marriage.
In our present American culture marriage is being slammed to such a point that most popular people are anti-marriage. It’s disheartening especially because these people have so much influence and they have not bothered to actual research to see if marriage is in fact beneficial for us. Which is is by a landslide. Marriage is the #1 arbitrator of our happiness. Marriage is beneficial fro men, women and especially children…and society and everyone one else too! more on the Benefits of Marriage
WHAT KIND OF LEGACY DO YOU WANT TO CREATE?
How To Create A Happy Marriage Culture đ
- It starts with you and speaking against the negative narrative of marriage. Research for your self and take an honest look around. What do you honestly want? A home and family to share the journey of life with?
- You make choices that lead to marriage and a healthy family life
- Find people and communities that have happy marriages and hang out with them.
- Calling out the lies of feminism and Meminism and explaining how their ideologies and negatively affecting children, society, men and women everyone!
- Go to church or at least start to research and understand why Christians are happiest, husbands wives and children. Amazing family life.
- Initiate relationships with family members who have solid families so you can catch what they do and how they do it. Our kids caught more then what was taught actually lookin back.
- Stop apologizing to people who don’t have the best. i know a lot of single moms who are trying their best. Iâm not trying to hurt anyoneâs feelings but by being overly nice weâve lost o message.. It is better to be good then nice. Our ânicenessâ is destroying the fabric of society. So stop speak kindly without blame but be truthful. Single mothers and fatherlessness is destroying children.
- Walk around with SMILE. If your happy and you know it, Show it! Itâs appealing. People will want to be around you and when they ask why? Tell them becauseI have the best husband, I have the best wife, I have the best family.
- Invite yourself over someoneâs house for dinner who has the kind of family life you ant. Iâve had people ask can they come to dinner at our house because they have never had a family dinner together ever!
- Reach out to family members and be what you wanted. be an amazing uncle and play football with your nephew. Invite your mom over for dinner, cook, set the table, put on some fun music and learn to enjoy and build what youâve never had, or enrich and enjoy, appreciate what you already have.
- If your family is a hot mess (like mine was) there wasnât much to build with. It was hard but I was able to build a beautiful relationship with one of my siblings and its one of most precious relationship I have. We both had a lot of unrealistic expectations to work through. A lot of forgiving and grace that had to be extended both ways. But it was valuable to both of us and we worked at it. I mean really worked but we were able to come to such a beautiful place that any work we did the joys and love and health of our relationship was well worth it.
- Listen and watch mentally healthy podcasts, shows and music. They are there. We have listed a lot in our book. U have placed QR codes for you to easily find an article, video or podcast to inspire and inform you.. You have to reach out and desire to build yourself up in the things which are beneficial to your health and happiness. You have to choose to go in the direction f a traditional marriage and family life. there is so much fighting against it that we have to guard our minds and hearts or we will fall.
How Can You Immediately Start Creating A Culture of Marriage
- Eat together every night and talk, and laugh together
- Kiss good bye every single morning, and hello every single evening
- Hang out with other happily married couples
- Date night -dinner, candlelight, play, movie, walk in moonlight
- Encourage extended family time (aunts uncle, grandparents parents cousins)
- Create a lifestyle conducive to family life.
- Attend church or your religious community
- Find hobbies you and your spouse like to do together.
- Vacation at least once a year
- Mini vacations -be a tourists in your own town, state
- Weekly outings -park, beach, hiking, car shows,
- Monthly family meeting, whatâs working -whatâs not.
- Continue to make an effort with and for your spouse
Marriage culture is a culture in which people understand the importance of marriage, that it is their goal to get married. They live and perpetuate a community that honors the union between a man and a woman, They are traditional people, community groups usually religious. They understand the importance of marriage, that it is a life long commitment and desire it. They understand the benefits and build strong marriages and families. They understand that marriage is the strong foundation for families and families and the strong foundation for society (civilization).
It comes from a traditional background Italian Catholics, Spanish Portuguese etc Jewish
And from people whoâs parents modeled a good marriage before them, based on importance of family, etc whether they are religious or not. I know a lot of secular (agnostic, atheistic ) people who take their marriage vows and family life and commitment seriously.
Itâs usually based: God First >Marriage >Sex >Family >Children >Life Long Commitment
The benefits of marriage are many and various. Both husband an wife, Security, Financial Elevation, Superior Mental Health- married couples are happier then single people, Physical health is much better, Couples in joy a better quality of life, have better friendships, Married people live longer, married people have the lowest rate of suicide, stronger family units, and have a greater life purpose. Better to raise children in (statistics are through the rough on this one!)
Culture is the arts, music, games, movies, sports, education, social groups,Everything that influences your life. So in this marriage culture is more of a family culture made up of all the different aspects that influence your life which in turn influences you which in turn influences your marriage and family life.
The cultural life style of “Marriage Culture” is a way of life, family eating together daily, talking and listening to one another, they get together with extended family very often. Their family and friendships are with other married couples.
The culture for years have been against marriage, undermining the every fabric of society. Almost every podcast is against marriage, especially for young men, when I search YouTube and typed in the benefits of marriage âanti -marriage stuff comes up. When I search how to make a marriage work, only two real searches came up and the rest were anti marriage. So you would think that there is actually no good real octant on how to have a good marriage , but two thats not true when I search particular channel that I know has good marriage content the actual works âHow to make your. marriage work? Is there but YouTube is not showing it. Their algorithms are going against marriage. So I donât know about you. I think doing the opposite in which the major social media platforms are pushing is actually the right thing to do!
When you are married, you roll over hug your spouse, or you smell the coffee thatâs already on. Have breakfast together, plan on what your having for dinner, or what you will be doing that evening. You have a home because your building an legacy together.
There is a wide and diverse kinds of marriages. But Marriage in itself is very wonderful and powerful relationship. Ewe take the importance of it for granted. Marriage is actually the foundation of society. Without marriages civilization fail. Thatâs how important it is.
It was my marriage culture that actually encouraged me to write this book.
Copied below form Prologue-re-write)
{One night I woke up around 3am and was wide awake and so was my husband and we started joking about yeah get old and you never sleep again, lol. We started reminiscing about all of our experiences over the past forty years, we were laughing and holding hands. (This was one of my happiest memories together. It was such a sweet and real time together). We realized we raised five children and their all alive lol, and on top of that theyâre amazing people! We gave each other a high five! Babe we did it! I remember getting married and thinking I couldnât wait to grow old with my husband, and here we are old. Thatâs a whole other book.
The next morning I woke up happy and was thinking about our marriage, and why were weâre still happily married after almost 40 years.
Then I heard Patrick Ben-David podcast and he said, âWho are the five closest people to you? You will be like them.â I thought about that question a lot, and that one question made me write this book! I started to think about the five people closet to me. Most are happily married couples. I have a few very close family and friends that are divorced but are supportive of marriage. They know itâs not marriage, but who you marry.}
(original) Who you surround your self with makes a huge difference in your marriage. My husband and I were young when we got married. I jus turned 19 and my husband was 21. All of our friends thought we were crazy for getting married s young so we lost them. Ot hint bad happened we just wanted soothing different. We were ready for something different. My family thought I was crazy, but my husbands family was wonderful ad supportive. Gradually we drifted away from our single friends and ended up mostly hanging with our families. (My family finally came around). After we had our children we quickly realized we needed help with parenting and started going to church. W found an amazing church and this and our families are where we found our âmarriage cultureâ. My husbands mom and dad were married for __ years before he passed away, and she remarried and was sill married to him when she passed away. All of my husbands brothers who are married are still married, no divorces. My side everyone unfortunately is divorced. At times we had to put distances between people who unintentionally brought stress into our marriage, because our marriage came before other family members and friends. (You have to guard, put a mote, wall?) You have to realize that at times if someone is either miserable in their life or struggling in their marriage they will undermine your marriage. Their words infiltrate your thoughts. What is wrong in their life you start looking at your life differently. So you have to guard your home and put some distance between yourself and them. that isnât mean, selfish or uncaring. Itâs wise and protective of your self, your marriage and your family. Do you if one of your friends divorce that ups your divorce rate by (?). So, if friendships donât affect your marriage this statistic wouldnât be there. Be cautious. And I have found that those friends who were real friend came back into our lives when their lives settled down. There was no hard feelings. They were happy to have some happily married friends in their lives, and the sought us out to introduce us to their someone special and now they had some fun married friends to hang with!
Marriages are going down but then so are divorces. However there are still people getting married every day, and they are staying married.
Know in Your Heart & Mind That Your Marriage Will Work
In their minds if people think âwell most people get divorced, I guess were among themâ instead of most people make it to death do us part, âI guess well make that!â. Is a winner loser mentality. In our marriage Divorce was not an option so we did not entertain that option in our lives, so we KNEW we had to work through, fight through or simply be miserable together. Thankfully I married a man that when we fight were not comfortable with that. We don’t do well when we are disagreeing. We have to work it out, even if it’s âWe agree to disagree.â.
Divorce is Going Down
Most marriages are making it to the “Death do us part”, part!
But most people don’t know that because everyone is saying ad nauseam âdivorce, most people get divorcedâ. Even though is not true most people think it is true! More than 60% of marriages make it death do u apart. Only 40% now are ending in divorce. Divorce is actually going down. People are choosing more wisely and know what they want going into a marriage which makes the marriage stronger.
*Walk around saying, “Marriage is great! You should do it!”. Most people should in fact get married. Should you be cautious? Yes absolutely but it is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Marriage is one of the best things you can do with your life, but we are not hearing this message at all. Just the opposite from even people who should know better! Just look at the AMAZING Stats for Marriage.
Marriage is an honorable and is the standard of which we should all try and and attain to for so many reasons. Certain people are pushing this very damaging narrative that marriage is over we have to find a new way. But we know for a fact that marriage works for both wives and husbands and especially children. So those of us who are happily married and even unhappily married are still better off than single people. Marriage and children actually help you become an adult. You all of a sudden have to think of someone others then yourself. You are stretched instead of just thinking about dinner for yourself you have to think about your spouse. If it snows its not just about you getting out and being able to get to work itâs about thinking also. Your spouse and then your children.
So we have to get out the truth is that marriage for so many reason is the best foundation and it works even when it is hard it is still and will always be the best foundation to family and society. We both men and women are happier and more secure and so are our children.
We know what works so lets get out the and speak more abut the blessings and benefits of marriage. Letâs make a marriage culture which people purposely and unintentionally replaced with popular culture.
Thankfully we have come to a place where the negative affects of feminism is being addressed in the marketplace, however Meminism is not being addressed. Th pendulum and swung dramatically the other way and now the hatred of women is exploding.
Any philosophy that pits women against men or men against women is damaging to both men and women. We need each other and are made for each other.
First thing we can do is understand what works and the whys of that. Even if you didnât grow up in a two parent happily married home, which both my husband and I did not we still aspired to have a happy marriage and a good family life.
A Good, Happy & Healthy Life Is Made Up Of
A Million Good Choices.
So Choose Well!
It is hard sometimes absolutely but anything worthwhile is hard. Anything worthwhile you have to work at and sacrifice for. Why when it seconds to the most important relationship of our lives do we expect it to be easy and if isnât easy then thatâs it were not willing to fight or work for it!
How long did it take to get your degree?
Ho along did it take for your business to become profitable?
Then why don’t we ply that same thinking to marriage and family. The thing is the dividends are much more worthwhile then anything else except for your relationship with God.
***The Happiness Study from Harvard – 80 year, 5000 people – itâs contagious, itâs viral