About Us
WHO WE ARE
We are a happily married couple of over 42 years, with five children and nine grandchildren. We’re just practical people who have made it past 60 years of age and can now look back and clearly see the hows and whys of why we’re so happy.
There were lots of good decisions, lots of prayer, and many seasons of walking through really hard things together. But we are still together—and truly, joyfully together. While many podcasters make marriage sound overly complicated or rely on clickbait, we honestly have everything we ever hoped for. At this stage of life, the only thing we want to do with our remaining time is to share what we’ve learned and encourage others on their journey through life.
Learn from our mistakes. We’ll point out the nasty bumps ahead so you can avoid them, while also reminding you not to miss the most meaningful moments of your life. The hard and painful things yell loudly, and if that’s all you focus on, you’ll likely miss the best parts of living. The most meaningful moments are often softly spoken: a hand held during sorrow, the quiet awe of holding your newborn child.
Treasure those moments. Let them sink in. Appreciate them for what they are. These are the moments to live for. These are the moments you’ll think about on your deathbed. The loud moments—like a new car or a promotion—can be fun, but they don’t carry the same weight of true meaning.
Life is messy and hard and fun and glorious. Most importantly, it is a gift meant to be appreciated and treasured, not lived in fear or frivolously squandered on meaningless distractions. So join us as we share our insights, so you can “Double Your Joys and Divide Your Sorrows.”
OUR INSPIRATION
One night, I woke up around 3 a.m. wide awake—and so was my husband. We started joking about how you get older and never sleep again. We began reminiscing about our experiences over the past forty years, laughing and holding hands. It was one of my happiest memories, a sweet, real moment together.
We realized we had raised five children and they were all alive (which felt like a major accomplishment!), and beyond that, they are amazing people. We gave each other a high five and said, “Babe, we did it.” I remembered getting married and thinking how much I couldn’t wait to grow old with my husband, and suddenly, here we were. Old. That’s a whole other book.
The next morning, I woke up happy, reflecting on our marriage and wondering why we were still happily married after nearly forty years.
Then I heard a Patrick Bet-David podcast where he asked, “Who are the five closest people to you? You will become like them.” That question stayed with me—and ultimately led me to write this book.
I thought about the five people closest to me. Most were happily married couples. I also have close family and friends who are divorced but still supportive of marriage. They understand it’s not marriage itself, it’s who you marry.
That’s when I realized we live within multiple cultures: our marriage culture, home culture, work culture, and social culture. Each one deeply affects our marriage and the overall quality of our lives.
Today, many people mock marriage or tear it down without truly understanding it. Some have never been married or never witnessed a healthy marriage. If someone doesn’t want to get married, that’s fine, don’t. But why portray women as bad or tell men there’s no benefit to marriage when, clearly, it is one of the most meaningful and beneficial relationships for both men and women.
Why pull others down just to prop yourself up? Simply don’t get married. But there’s more happening beneath the surface: misinformation, selfishness, guilt, the pursuit of money, and the desire for influence.
WHAT OUR HEARTS REALLY WANT
What do our hearts truly want? We don’t have to admit it to anyone but ourselves. It may not seem “cool” in today’s culture, but deep down, we want something real, a real relationship, real love, real purpose. We want to be needed and to rely on someone who will sacrificially love us when we need it most.
Most of us long for something genuine. No games. Someone to walk through life’s storms with, and also to enjoy sunrises and sunsets together. After everything we’ve endured in recent years, we want REAL.
Popular culture offers us illusions, but illusions aren’t something we can lean on. You can’t hug an illusion. You can’t build a life on one. Illusions don’t help us grow, love, or find purpose. They might quench our thirst for a moment, but they leave us empty again soon after.
Like miners during the Gold Rush, we’re searching for real gold—not fool’s gold. Fool’s gold may look convincing for a moment, but it has no lasting value.
I am a Christian, a wife, and a mom. I do many other things, but at my core, I love the Lord, love my husband, and love my children and grandchildren. That may sound simple, or even unsatisfying to some, but my heart is full. I have loved, and I am loved.
I’ve invested my life in what matters most, and now I’m reaping the dividends of a well-lived life. As I type this, my eyes are filled with tears of joy and gratitude. Making the right choices in life is hard. Short-term desires often battle long-term goals. But if you get even part of this messy, imperfect life right, if you learn to live well, discern good from evil, and invest your heart, mind, time, and emotions into something worthwhile, your life will be worth every struggle.
I am old. I have lived more than I will live. That is why I’m writing this book, to share with a younger generation that will face things we never imagined, both good and evil.
“He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly, to love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?”
Micah 6:8
Our culture and nation feel like they’re in decline. The question is: Are we going to go down with the ship, or are we going to try to plug the holes and bail out the water? I’d rather go down trying; caring, giving, helping, than make more holes and sink faster.
Each of us matters. Each of us can make a difference. By living faithfully, and stewarding what God has given us we choosing purpose over despair leads to a life without regret.
That is why we want to share the unique calling and blessing of marriage. We hope this encourages you and helps you in your dating and marriage relationships.