It Takes about 200-300 Hours to Plan a Wedding
How Long Do You Take To Plan Your MARRIAGE?!
Once you realize that this is indeed the person you want to marry. You should start prioritizing to start planning our married life together. Most people do not do that and then they say marriage is horrible don’t get married but they haven’t spent 1 hour not even one hour preparing for their married life!
Why is the divorce rate so high, because couples have not spent any time in understanding what it actually takes to make a marriage work.
People say, “Your lucky you got a great marriage.” But I don’t believe in luck. Luck is simply where preparation meets opportunity. So let’s spend more time preparing for our Marriage Instead of our 3 hour Wedding!
“Wedding Planning” with “Marriage Planning“
It helps engaged couples practice communication, compromise and understanding of what is truly important in their married life. It gives them the tools to bring into their marriage to fix any problem they might have.
The ‘200 Hours’ from Now Until I Say, “I Do!”
HOUR 1
Let’s take the traditional marriage vows and make sure we have the qualities that make for a solid marriage.
“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I WILL love and honor you all the days of my life.”
First off it is your choice. YOU ARE CHOOSING! So, make sure you chose wisely. (choosing a spouse checklist here)
-My lawful wife/husband: You are choosing this person to be yours before God, your family and friends and the government.
This is a tremendous statement. You are pledging your love and fidelity, committing to this person all that you are, all that you have and all that you will ever be. You are ALL IN! You are not dating, yoru are not just in a long time relationship. You are committed to love cherish respect and honor this person until you breath your last breath and depart from this life. This is the person you are going to journey through life with, learn with, laugh with, cry with and experience everything with from now on.
*Fidelity means: faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support. Sexual faithfulness to a spouse.
Marriage License
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Fully Pledge Yourself. Read together and talk through
Write Your Vows:
HOUR 2
Let’s take the traditional marriage vows and make sure we have the qualities that make for a solid marriage.
“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I WILL love and honor you all the days of my life.”
Look at: “I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward.
There is a reason you have a wedding and stand before God, family and friends. It is to say,
“From this day forward.”
From this day forward there is a different kind of commitment. There is a dating kind of commitment, then a boyfriend girlfriend type of commitment, then a fiancee type of commitment. Each one progressively deeper and more meaningful. And then there is the marriage commitment. The all in, death do we part kind of commitment.
Take some time and think about that. Is this the person you want to be with for the rest of your life?
Is this the person you want to be more like? That you want your children to be like?
There is a big difference between living together and getting married. Lots of people will say that no there are the same but hey are not. Look at the data and you will see the big difference between them.
When you think about it honestly living together is more like;
“Let’s see if this will work?” where as marriage is an , “I know this will work!”.
An “I’m kind of in part way in.” verses “I’m in all the way no matter what!”.
Data: 34% higher rate of divorce when couples lived together before marriage.
Living Together Study
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
HOUR 3
“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I WILL love and honor you all the days of my life.”
Lets look at and work on “for better, for worse“
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
HOUR 4
“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I WILL love and honor you all the days of my life.”
Lets look at and work on “for richer, for poorer “
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
HOUR 5
“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I WILL love and honor you all the days of my life.”
Lets look at and work on ” in sickness and in health “
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
HOUR 6
“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I WILL love and honor you all the days of my life.”
Lets look at and work on ” until death do us part “
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
HOUR 7
“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I WILL love and honor you all the days of my life.”
Lets look at and work on ” I WILL love and honor you all the days of my life.””
A setting of the WILL. I Will love you and honor you
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
Let’s Reverse Engineer the Top Reasons for Marriage to Help you NOT to get Divorced!
Top Reasons for Divorce
1. Commitment
2. Communication
3. Cheating
4. Chores (wife), Finances (husband)
HOUR 8
1. Commitment is the quality of being dedicated to a cause, an agreement or pledge to do something in the future.
Most couples do not understand what it truly takes to make a marriage work. Commitment is putting in the work, effort and heart to continue to make the marriage work. They fell in love, which was actually romantic love based on endorphins and physical attraction and an optimistic viewpoint.
The marriage vows are a pledge of commitment. I take you (wife/husband) for better or worse, sickness and health, for richer or poorer, til death do us part.
You Can Learn to Commit
Become aware of the area you are lacking in or where you are weak, and be willing to change. Focus on that area and commit to improving it which builds character! Most people do not talk about the benefit of marriage improving our character. We grow exponentially as a married couple, we learn to give and sacrifice in ways we never thought we would be able to do. This is the hard part of marriage, where the two become one that most couples have problems in.
Excellent article “The Five Levels of Commitment” by Howard Partridge
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
HOUR 9
2. Communication is the ability to explain what you are feeling and what is important to you. It is a two way process of exchanging ideas, feelings, thoughts, ideals between people to build understanding. This also includes non-verbal cue like facial expressions, stance, arms crossed or a big smile, hugs.
You Can Learn to Communicate
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
HOUR 10
3. Cheating is betraying your spouse. Being sexual with someone other than your spouse, but also sharing yourself in ways that are reserved for your marriage relationship such as looking sexually at someone else; revealing your innermost being with someone who is not your spouse. Giving your affection, attention and love to someone other then your spouse.
You Can Learn to Be Completely Faithful
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
HOUR 11
4. Chores (wife): The fourth reason wives file for divorce is over chores. Husbands and men are like, “I completely do not understand what she is talking about?”. But they are both working full time jobs and yet the wife is still expected to cook, clean, take care of the children, do all the scheduling like doctors appointments and making sure the kids get to where they need to be and unfortunately the husband tends to be another child and doesn’t love his wife as he should and help her because she is drowning.
Husbands Can Learn To Help With Chores
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
Wedding Plan (women’s divorce reason) (Chore divisions after marriage)
ADD: Blank Wedding Plan: Who’s goign to do what?
Talk through, divide and conquer
HOUR 12
4. Finances (husband): The fourth reason husbands file for divorce is because the wife is not hearing the husband when he’s saying honey we can’t afford that, or your spending to much! She just continues to spend and gets the family in a financial crisis and then the husband has to figure out a way to pay for her excess purchases. The wife is not loving her husband as she should and understand and hear what he is saying. She’s acting like a child and being irresponsible and putting their family into a financial crisis.
Wives Can Learn to Spend Responsibly
Premarital Counseling:
Practical Steps To Implement:
To Do:
Budget (men’s divorce reason) (How are each of your finances? )
HOUR 13
Practical Steps To Implement:
Premarital Counseling:
Sexual Expectations
Reception (what you do for fun)
Choose Date (
Wedding Guests (Family relationships, who you invite into your marriage: family and friends)
Officiant (mentors )
Church ( are you religious? Same view points)
Church Song ( cultural influence?)
Vows (Your dream future -kids, no kids, home, vaca a lot)
Invitations
Wedding Dress (clothes,
Tux
Wedding Rings
Brides Maids (brides sisters and friend group)
Grooms Men’s (grooms brothers and friend group)
Venue
Wedding Theme
Cake
Caterer
Food
Music
Colors
Favors
Limo
Bridal Party
Bachelor Party
Photographer
Videographer
Florist
Make Up
Rehearsal Dinner
Wedding website (what you post online?)
New Home
Honeymoon
Move In
Send Thank-You’s (being appreciative)
12 MONTHS BEFORE
Budget
Guest List
Bridal Party
Planner
Venue
Caterer
11 MONTHS BEFORE
Color Scheme
Photographer
Videographer
Band DJ
10 MONTHS BEFORE
Wedding Dress
Invitations
9 MONTHS BEFORE
8 MONTHS BEFORE
Bridesmaid Dresses
———————————————————-
READ JUNE 13th DEVOTIONAL ABOUT EXPECTATIONS!
Why PRE-MARRIAGE Counseling?
Each of you has your own backgrounds personalities, and views of life. Marriage is a DAILY RELATIONSHIP that will expose your differences, BUT Gods Word tells us HOW TO “deal” with them so our Marriage will not FAIL because of them.
**Because Marriage is a “ONENESS”, IF one of you STRUGGLES, you will BOTH be Affected!
MARRIAGE is the Single, Most IMPORTANT Decision, other than Jesus Christ, that we will ever make!
Marriage Definitions:
OXFORD-The legally recognized union of 2 people as partners in a personal relationship WEBSTER-The state of being united as spouses in a consensual contractual relationship recognized by law.
**in a Godless Society they will FORBID people to Marry
1 Timothy 4:3—Story of ST. Valentine (Valentines Day-LOVE) 269 AD Emperor Claudius Gothicas of Rome outlawed Marriage because he believed men would be better soldiers if they were single. St Valentine Believed no, it was a Blessing that God Created for Man & Woman. And so he went around officiating marriages and eventually was Executed because of it.
The BIBLE Declares that Marriage is a Gift from God
ALL THROUGHOUT CREATION GOD SAID AFTER LOOKING AT IT-IT WAS GOOD EXCEPT After HE MADE MAN and MAN WAS WITHOUT A WIFE
HE said IT IS NOT GOOD (But Scripture does say some have gift of Eunuch, also Paul said because of stresses of the World, its better that some do not Marry) Yet today to some Marriage is to be put off as long as possible, so don’t prepare for it, instead squeeze all the Fun/Good Times you can out of this world, and THEN when you are tired and worn out, you can find someone!
Genesis 2:18-24 (scene of First Marriage-authored and Ordained by God Himself) MARRIAGE IS GODS DESIGN TO DISPLAY HIS GLORY!
Isaiah 43:7 (Nature, Heavens, Babies,Transformed LIVES-Paul).
God Created Marriage To give us Companionship also.(better than the animals) Marriage not meant to HURT us or TAKE AWAY from us!
NOTES From Genesis 2:18-24
Helper-a helper is not inferior. Eve was not inferior , nor superior to Adam, but the Perfect Compliment for each other so that they could help each other in those areas where they lacked(had a deficiency) ***a Necessary thing to HELP with a Deficiency
Taken from Adams Rib-not from his head or feet but from his rib that place that was NEAREST to his heart, from the part of Adam that PROTECTS his heart (function of Ribs). Gods Marriage design is Perfect-Hebrews13:4-(30,40,50 years of Marriage and ALL the World looks on with Awe and Respect! In it they can see the Fruit of the Holy Spirit Galatians 5:22.
Marriage Shines Forth ! Of the 2 Greatest Commandments(LOVE THY NEIGHBOR)
YET STILL … MARRIAGE STATS- 1 of 2 will end in Divorce, In Church the stats are like 30-35 percent.
BUT a Survey done in last 10 years shows that for MARRIED COUPLES who PRAY TOGETHER (Psalm 94:19, Philippians 4:6-8, Psalm 55:22) on a regular basis and who READ the Bible daily (THOSE THAT ARE SINCERE IN SEEKING GOD—-SINCERE vs CASUAL Christians) ,they HAVE a divorce rate of 1 on 1055.
The LORD Can make a Tremendous Difference in a Marriage! Psalm127:1
If God designed marriage ,then He understands it. ( Corrie Ten Boom -Dad-Clock/Watch repairs, If they could not Fix a broken watch , her dad would see…SEND IT BACK TO THE MANUFACTURER,THEY WILL FIX IT !
Marriage is a Choice, a Commitment a Promise a Vow that we Choose Freely to make before Family Friends and the LORD to our Spouse. (Out Of All the people in the World)
We hear often ,”I FELL in Love” as if by chance, but the by chance I can FALL out of Love. LIES.
All MARRIAGE ISSUES are somehow Tied to a SPIRITUAL ISSUE. (We are 2 flawed people) ***Our Nature because of Adam & Eve is “sinful”. (Lucas and Emma example)
HOW CAN GOD HELP US IN OUR MARRIAGE?
The Problems and Issues that we have before marriage WILL NOT go away once we are Married, In fact they will get worse (highlighted more because of constant togetherness) EVERY Marriage starts with such Joy Hope and Expectation, so why 1 in 2 Divorce rate. ANSWER—God CREATED Us and Designed Marriage,
Throughout scripture HE uses Marriage terminology to describe HIS Relationship with His Church/People. —-Isaiah 54:5, Jeremiah 3:14, Hosea 2:19 (God said He was Married to Israel) Revelation 19:7-9 ( The Church is JESUS Bride), WHOM HE CHOSE TO LOVE EVERY DAY!! so HE knows what we need each ourselves and what we need to do in order for our Marriage to make it Last! Jesus 1st Ministry Miracle (turned water into wine) was at a friends Wedding. John 2:5 “DO WHATEVER HE Tells You”. IT IS HIS PLAN ,SO DO IT HIS WAY!
The Lord really does understand what Marriage is and all about us! 1COR 7:22 Married couples care about the things of this world….A husband thinks on how he may please his wife(bring her joy) and a wife thinks on How she may please her husband(bring him joy). DO WE THINK LIKE THIS or DO WE THINK HOW CAN SHE/ HE Please me?
Marriage is Gods Masterpiece, Unlike any other Relationship. Every other Relationship is considered UNHEALTHY if CLEAVED Together Forever- kids/parents, siblings, friends all do NOT live together until they die(Usually) BUT Marriage is TILL DEATH DO US PART!
SINCE GOD CREATED MARRIAGE AND US, HE KNOWS US ALL !
Jeremiah 17:9 -(God Know our Hearts), Romans 3:10-(We are all sinners).
Marriage is a union of 2 SINNERS (selfish, prideful, wanton, etc..) There are no PERFECT SPOUSES, —Garden of Eden Perfect Setting,No one else to Blame, but still Sin AFFECTED their Lives in a bad way, so when we Marry we carry what and who we are into our Marriage , Foolishly EXPECTING NOW that the other Person “a SINNER like us” will MAKE US HAPPY! WRONG!!
Dealing/Living unfaithfully —Psalm 78:57 and Hosea 7:16—like a deceitful bow—leads to disillusionment and discouragement because of expectations!
And because we are sinners that have mouths with tongues ,we can HURT others deeply. Proverbs 18:21-Our Tongues are very powerful (preserve life for destroy life) PSALM 50:21— You slander your own Brother(what about wife or husband, is not that even worse)
GODS ANSWER.- Ephesians4:29-31 and James 5:16-do not cover up with the ONE you have COMMITTED YOUR LOVE TO, BUT INSTEAD ——-PRAY FOR EACH OTHER!! ***Psalm 109:14(and this is your SPOUSE, not an enemy. (In return for my Love, they are my ACCUSERS, BUT I give myself to Prayer! Oh Spouse will you not Pray for the ONE you CHOSE to LOVE?
WHEN A MARRIAGE IS GOOD, NOTHING is Better!, BUT WHEN A MARRIAGE IS BAD, NOTHING IS WORSE!
MARRIAGE QUOTES FROM SOLID CHRISTIAN HUSBANDS AND WIVES:
George Mueller ”This morning I greatly dishonored you Lord by my Irritability manifested towards my wife almost immediately after I had been in Prayer ,Praising you Lord for giving to me such a wonderful woman as my dear wife”
CS Lewis “When I have Learned to Love God Better (MORE) than my earthly Dearest(wife),then I shall Love my earthly Dearest (wife) Better (More)”
Ruth Graham “Marriage is a union of two Forgivers” (not I cannot forgive ,but I will not Forgive)
OUR HELP-Psalm 92:13 (where we need to position ourselves, and remember the Lord gives us all FREE WILL! *** When I was struggling , I would sit in back of Church and leave quickly, but ONE DAY I moved to the front of the Church and my wife KNEW that I was ALL IN!!
Isaiah 55:11-Gods word Will Not come back void.
*TRIANGLE Diagram-closest to God is closest we are to each other!
Psalm127:1, Matthew 7:24-27-BUILDING TO REMAIN STANDING——BUILD YOUR HOUSE ON A ROCK(much HARDER work) rather than on sand!
Marriage screams for us to be LESS selfish. Children Born Screams Louder be Less Selfish!
Matthew 20:26-28-Jesus came to serve not to be served. (And he who wants to be greatest of all must be a servant to all)
In a MARRIAGE Often you will hear the word LOVE spoken. 4 Love words used in the Bible:
EROS-Physical, sensual
PHILEO-brotherly love (Philadelphia)
STORGE-Familiar Love-Family ,Parents,Siblings
AGAPE-Selfless,This Kind of Love SAYS—-I WILL CHOOSE TO LOVE meaning Whom I direct this kind of Love to, I ,No matter what,Even If,Regardless of will Love Them and make their Life Better because of my love for them.
It is the Kind of Love Word that is used in Bible Verse John 3:16 (HE GAVE, NOT TOOK, NOT EXPECTED, NOT RECEIVED but GAVE) GAVE ALL-EVERYTHING!
TRINITY AT WORK:
God the Father-GAVE Willingly His only begotten Son
The Son -Jesus-GAVE Willingly His life and His Relationship He had with the Father THE Holy Spirit GAVE Willingly His glorious Position to come and live in us and was willing to be Grieved and Quenched(quieted) Jesus showed us His Love for us is AGAPE LOVE! Philippians 2:5-10WHY? HEBREWS 12—He Loved His Bride so that she might experience LOVE MORE abundantly and that it will last forever!
BIBLICAL ROLES IN MARRIAGE FOR HUSBANDS AND WIVES JAMES 1:22 JAMES 1:22—DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT, THINK ABOUT IT, DWELL ON IT, RESEARCH IT …JUST DO IT!!!!
DISTINCT ROLES FOR GODHEAD TRINITY( THE FATHER,THE SON & THE HOLY
SPIRIT! 2CORINTHIANS 13:14 and LUKE 3:21-22 (Jesus Baptism) ****PHILLIPIANS 2:3
HUSBANDS -A WIFES GREATEST NEED is to FEEL LOVED, To BE SECURE OR SAFE IN THE LOVE OF HER HUSBAND!
Proverbs 18:22”He who finds a wife finds what is GOOD and RECEIVES FAVOR from the LORD”
Proverbs 19:14”Houses and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a PRUDENT wife(who has more wisdom than a woman who LOVES the LORD) is from God”
Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands LOVE your wives JUST AS CHRIST loved the Church and GAVE Himself for her”.
John 15:13“No Greater LOVE has someone than to LAY DOWN THEIR LIFE for a FRIEND (how much more your wife)
Genesis 29:18-20 “Jacob Loved Rachel So much that 7 Years of working for Laban for her seemed as if it was only a few days”
Husbands take off 1 YEAR from Military Duties so that you may bring JOY to your wife—-
Deuteronomy 24:5 The Lord Knows how important it is for your wife to feel LOVED!
Ephesians 5:25-Cont’d “That He MIGHT sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the WORD, That He might present her to Himself a glorious Church, NOT having SPOT nor WRINKLE or ANY such thing ,BUT THAT she be Holy and without Blemish”. HUSBANDS RESPONSIBILITY TO DISCIPLE HIS WIFE (Jesus example)
HOSEA 3-Incredible gift of Forgiveness Grace Mercy and Love Shown—-IT does NOT MATTER what she has done to you, because GOD called Hosea to Treat his wife as he did(Just like the Lord calls us to Treat our wives as HE SAYS TO)
“So Husbands OUGHT TO LOVE their OWN wives AS THEIR own bodies, for NO ONE EVER hated his own flesh, BUT NOURISHES it and CHERISHES it JUST AS CHRIST does the Church”. PROVERBS 31: 30-31—Build and Edify her walk with the Lord!
JESUS understands Husbands. And The LOVE THEY MUST have for their BRIDE! Look at His Labor of Love for His Bride at the CROSS! He who was equal to Father God(no Higher place of standing, yet HE set ASIDE HIs Deity Privileges and took on a position SO MUCH lower (MATT 20:28-obedient Servant who did not come to be served but rather to serve)and HE was WILLING to SUFFER to ENDURE Pain Shame and Separation from the Father(never separated in all eternity)for HIS GREAT LOVE FOR HIS CHURCH, WHICH WAS HIS JOY! Hebrews 12:2.
EPHESIANS 5:31 “For this reason a MAN shall leave his father and mother and be JOINED to his wife and the two SHALL BECOME one flesh”
A woman needs to feel SECURE/SAFE in your Love!
EPHESIANS 5:33 “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular SO LOVE his OWN wife as himself”
COL 3:19 “Husbands Love your wives and DO NOT BE BITTER towards them”
1 Samuel 18:20 and 19:11-18 and then 2 Samuel 6:14-22—David and Michal -a DUET OF LOVE that turned into a DUEL OF ENEMIES.—IT STARTED WITH SO MUCH LOVE BETWEEN THEM, she even risked her life for him and her relationship with her dad. AND THEN HARD TIMES COME TO THEM during there marriage -her dad gives her away to someone else.
ALL THIS LEADS TO WHAT WE READ IN 2 SAM 6. She is first to be bitter towards him , BUT HE RESPONDS WITH BITTERNESS BACK (Instead of DAVIDS normal character which was to REACT WITH NERCY towards others, BUT NOT HERE (read David’s Psalm 109:4)BECAUSE OF THIS, they never had any children together….a sad legacy instead of God’s blessings! THE END RESULT OF BITTERNESS IS ALWAYS SORROW & LOSS!!!
1 PETER 3:7 “Husbands likewise, dwell with them(wives) with UNDERSTANDING Study/Know them- It takes willful action on your part) giving Honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel and as being heirs TOGETHER of the GRACE of life that YOUR PRAYERS may not be HINDERED”
Genesis 2:17(Gods Law was given to the man), Genesis 3:9(God called to the man, where are YOU?)
Genesis 18:13-14 -the Lord asked Abraham ,WHY did Sarah Laugh, and asked Him(not Sarah) Is anything too hard for me?. Yet Life is Hard! (John 16:33) In this world you will have many tribulations!
WIVES-A HUSBANDS GREATEST NEED IS to be RESPECTED BY HIS WIFE, HE NEEDS APPROVAL(to FEEL IMPORTANT) FROM HIS WIFE!
1 Samuel 1:8 (Elkanah & Hannah)
PROVERBS 12:4 ”An EXCELLENT wife is the CROWN of her husband,(HIS SHINING TREASURE) but she
who SHAMES him is as rottenness in his bones(he won’t even be able to stand).
PROVERBS 31:10 His heart can SAFELY TRUST in her. (A virtuous wife, commendable character.(LIKE
RUTH)
EPHESIANS 5:22 ”Wives SUBMIT (Respect Him-when you lead our marriage ,I am Blessed) to your own husbands AS TO THE LORD. For the Husband is head of the wife also Christ is head of the Church and He is the Savior of the Church body. Therefore just as the Church is SUBJECT to Christ, so let the wives be to their OWN Husbands in EVERYTHING”
Husbands be CAREFUL —-2 COR 13:10-HEAR PAUL- he said authority was given to me by God for EDIFICATION and not for destruction! Even Jesus CAME TO SERVE not to BE SERVED! ***Abuse in marriage can be verbal seeking to control the other person for OWN SELFISH GAIN or SELF INTEREST. It is oppression to keep your spouse in Submission! RATHER INSTEAD like Michael said with CRAZY THINGS HAPPENING—-I do not know what to do BUT AS I FOLLOW THE LORD, MY FAMILY WILL FOLLOW ME!!!
JESUS understands your position as wives! Though He is EQUAL with The Father and part of the DIVINE TRINITY, yet He was WILLING to Submit for this is why He came! He who was EQUAL with God the Father Philippians 2:6 & Hebrews 1:3, struggled at times to submit. Matthew 26:39 & Luke 22:42—“Father if it is your WILL then take this cup of suffering from me, However YOUR WILL MUST BE DONE, NOT MINE”. **** Camille’s story of submission.
GENESIS 12:13 ”Sarah Please tell them that you are my sister so that things will go well for and I will be treated well for your sake…” and 1 SAMUEL 25:24-Abigail though her husband Nabal was a foolish man ,she said to David-BLAME ME for what happened!
EPHESIANS 5:33 ”and let the wife see that she RESPECTS her husband”. Man needs to feel significant, important he needs approval from his wife!
In the story of David and Michal, how different it would have been if she gave her approval when he danced around the ARK of God RATHER than her Disdain for him!! WHY COULDN’T she see that what David was doing was GOOD?
DAVID & MICHAL had unresolved STUFF—her dad gave her in Marriage to someone else as David was on the run for his life. NOT EVEN THEIR OWN FAULTS,BUT THINGS HAPPEN!!
See the difference from 1SAM 18:28 & 1SAM 19:11-18 (she willing to die for him)…… to….2
SAM 6:14-23. Do not leave UNRESOLVED ISSUES turn into BITTERNESS (instead bring it to the Lord who CAN HEAL & RESTORE (we witnessed it in marriages (Jim & Sue, Rosemary & Paul, etc..).
TITUS 2:4-8 “Older women please disciple the younger women and TELL THEM to LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS!”
1 PETER3:1 ”Wives likewise be submissive to your OWN husbands (John 8:29-Jesus said I always DO those things that PLEASE the Father), that EVEN IF some DO NOT OBEY the word, they without you saying anything ,may be WON by the conduct of their wives,WHEN THEY OBSERVE YOUR CHASTE Conduct”.
PROVERBS 31:10. A VIRTUOUS wife’s worth is FAR ABOVE rubies, the HEART can SAFELY Trust in Her !(remember you were taken from his Rib)
1 PETER 3:1 ”Do not let your adornment be MERELY outward-arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel, RATHER let it be the HIDDEN PERSON of the HEART with the Incorruptible Beauty of a GENTLE and QUIET SPIRIT, which is very precious IN THE SIGHT OF THE LORD”(God is watching,He sees ALL)
COLOSSIANS 3:18 ”Wives submit to your OWN husbands AS IS FITTING IN THE LORD”
PROVERBS 14:1 “A WISE woman BUILDS her house, but the FOOLISH PULLS IT DOWN with HER (Own) Hands”
BOTH FOR HUSBANDS AND WIVES
EPHESIANS 5:21”SUBMITTING (be subject)TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF GOD”. ***traditional vows start with I Promise/I Will , not If IF THEY…,Then I Will…
SUBMITTING means NOT forcing the other to submit. Not PROVING you are right, BUT
INSTEAD have a WILLINGNESS to Support each other ( EPHESIANS 4:29) Phillippians 2:5-9—Jesus example to us!—vs. Proverbs 11:12 RESULTING in Despise neighbor, and not LOVE thy Neighbor!
The BIBLE SAYS: Matthew 20:26 If you want to be the GREATEST of ALL then be the SERVANT of ALL! (Mother Theresa)
Philippians 2:3—-Do not have SELFISH AMBITION.
JESUS CAME TO SERVE, NOT TO BE SERVED-Matthew 20:28,Mark 10:45,John13:12-17.
1 CORINTHIANS 11:12 ”For as woman came from man so also man is born of woman”
John 21:21-22 Peter asked the Lord what about THIS MAN? JESUS ANSWER YOU worry about yourself and FOLLOW ME (DO what you need to do , your part) *****God SEES IT ALL!!!
Malachi 2:13-14, Proverbs 5:21
DO NOT BLAME one another as Adam & Eve did(Genesis3)
Remember to ALWAYS FORGIVE one another(Ruth Graham) Matthew 18:21-23—Peter asked Jesus about forgiveness!
EPHESIANS 4:29—Again watch how YOU SPEAK to each other!!
1 CORINTHIANS 7:32 ”but he/she who is MARRIED cares about the things of the world.
Married couples care about the things of this world….A husband thinks on how he may please his wife(bring her joy) and a wife thinks on How she may please her husband(bring him joy). DO WE THINK LIKE THIS or DO WE THINK HOW CAN SHE/ HE Please me?
INTIMACY
***REMEMBER the WISEST MAN in the Bible-Solomon,The STRONGEST MAN in the Bible-Samson and the MOST GOD FEARING & LOVING MAN in the Bible—ALL FELL INTO SEXUAL SIN!!!!!!
1 CORINTHIANS 7:3”Let the husband render to HIS WIFE the AFFECTION DUE HER, and likewise the wife ALSO to her husband”.
THIS MORE FOR HUSBANDS:(Stronger Drive Physically) God put this in Man to SEEK A WIFE.
This is a GOOD THING—-PROVERBS 18:22—-Because before God the real benefit in Pleasing God is man Being able to have SEX in Marriage (because he can do ALL other things without being Married. GOD is not a Prude, SEX, Physical Intimacy is GOOD in the CONFINES OF THE BOUNDARIES GOD GAVE US, Meaning Its Gods Plan in Marriage— HEBREWS 13:4
PROVERBS 5:18”AND REJOICE with the wife of your Youth”
PROVERBS 5:19”AND ALWAYS BE enraptured with HER LOVE”
*** Do not neglect Intimacy with each other! Except it be mutual consent during a time of fasting and prayer.
EXPECTATION OF LOVE—-THE OTHER PERSON WILL SACRIFICE FOR ME! YOU EXPECT TO GET,NOT TO HAVE TO GIVE! YET LOVE IS GIVING. John 3:16-HE GAVE!
1 CORINTHIANS 13-What Real LOVE LOOKS LIKE!!!!
What is Real Love according to God’s Word? Love SUFFERS long!
Love IS kind!
Love envies NOT!
Love IS NOT puffed up!(Pride)
Love DOES NOT seek ITS OWN best interest!
Love IS NOT EASILY angered!
Love Thinks NO evil!
Love Rejoices NOT in iniquity!
Love DOES Rejoice in the TRUTH!
Love HOPES ALL things! (God has Promised in His Word)
Love BELIEVES ALL things! (God has Promised in His Word)
Love Endures ALL things! (Because it Trusts in God’s Promises in His Word)
LOVE NEVER FAILS!!!!!! (As the LORD HAS and WILL NEVER FAIL US)
****We have JESUS EXAMPLE of how HE LOVES HIS CHURCH-His Love for THEM is Is UNCONDITIONAL
Is FAITHFUL
Is MERCIFUL
And is SACRIFICIAL all BECAUSE HE CHOSE & COMMITTED HIMSELF WILLINGLY TO LOVE THEM!!!!!!
****AS A CHRISTIAN ask yourself : Is my spouse GROWING in the Lord because of meow are they HINDERED STALLED or even HAVE FALLEN AWAY FROM THE LORD because of me?
DIVORCE
Please Consider Carefully Before you make Your Wedding Vows!
****The Bible speaks very little about the Wedding ceremony or Day (so many focus on that ) , BUT GOD CARES and WANTS YOUR MARRIAGE TO BE BLESSED! And so HE speaks a lot about the MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP We will have with our spouse!!!!
Ecclesiastes 5:5—BETTER NOT TO MAKE A VOW BEFORE GOD/TO GODRather THAN Making a VOW and BREAKING YOUR VOW!
MATTHEW 19:6, MARK 10:9—“Therefore what GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER, let NO MAN SPLIT ASUNDER”(Tear Apart)
*****Malachi 2:16 “for the LORD says HE HATES Divorce”
***1 COR 7:10—“Now to the married I COMMAND, yet not I BUT THE LORD, A wife is NOT to depart from her husband, but even if she does depart (separate), LET HER REMAIN unmarried or be RECONCILED to her husband. And a husband IS NOT to divorce his wife”
*****LUKE 16:18—“WHOEVER divorces his wife and marries another,COMMITS ADULTERY. And WHOEVER marries her who is divorced from her husband COMMITS ADULTERY”
*****MATTHEW 19:3—“The Pharisees also came to HIM, testing HIM and saying to HIM, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? And HE answered and said to them , Have you not read that HE who MADE THEM at the beginning, made them male and female, and said ,For this Reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be JOINED to his wife and the two SHALL BECOME ONE” But Moses PERMITTED Divorce because of the HARDNESS of YOUR HEARTS, BUT FROM the beginning (when God Created the Marriage Institution) it was NOT so!!!!!
**** FOR THE CHRISTIAN 1JOHN 4:20—You SAY you LOVE GOD whom you cannot see, YET you HATE YOUR BROTHER ,HOW MUCH MORE….“HATING” YOUR SPOUS -THEN GOD SAYS YOU ARE A LIAR!!!!
**** MATTHEW 5:23 ”Do not bring me a gift, while you have a Brother that is upset with you”—-HOW MUCH MORE …..YOUR SPOUSE?
**** Marriage is a LIFELONG COMMITMENT so FIGHT FOR YOUR Marriage and do not Give Up!
**** Marriage is YOUR WILLINGNESS to OBEY OUR VOWS!!
**** There are many different reasons why people get Divorced—-from Infidelity,Money problems,Unrealistic Expectations, weight gain, Bad communication But ULTIMATELY PRIDE the OTHER END of HUMBLENESS will Destroy a Marriage!!
***PRIDEFUL ….I DESERVE MORE… THIS PRIDEFULNESS which is one of 7 things the Lord lists that HE HATES, THIS PRIDE WILL KEEP US FROM MAKING PEACE WITH OUR SPOUSE!
***MOSES example -The Bible says HE WAS THE MOST HUMBLE MAN ON THE EARTH… yet in Numbers 20:7-11-His Pride(HE DESERVED…Better)HE WOULD DO LIFE HIS OWN WAY ,NOT WHAT THE LORD HAD ASKED OF HIM and it cost him dearly!!! It cost him the land of Blessing God had promised to HIS CHILDREN!!
BUT IF WE DO IT THE LORDS WAY AND FOLLOW HIS WAYS, SEEKING HIS GUIDANCE…. JUST AS ABRAHAM AND SARAH who were not perfect by any means ,yet Humbly CONTINUED TO LOOK TO GOD…. Then WOW WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BLESSED FRUITFUL and LOVING MARRIAGE they had…UNTIL death do us part!
****1 Samuel 2:30—“THOSE WHO HONOR ME, I WILL HONOR”
Psalm 27:13-14 “I would have LOST HOPE unless I had believed that I WOULD SEE the GOODNESS of THE LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD. Be of GOOD Courage and HE WILL strengthen your heart. Wait ,I SAY on the Lord”
WEDDING VOWS ——
BRIDE
I _____ DECLARE in the presence of Family, Friends and my Lord Jesus Christ,That I take you ______ to be my Wedded Husband for ALL the Days of my Life!
I PROMISE to LOVE YOU Now and Always, as you grow and develop into ALL that GOD intends for you to be!
I Promise to LOVE YOU when we are Together and when we are apart!
I Promise to LOVE YOU when our Lives are at Peace and when they are in Turmoil! I Promise to LOVE YOU the I’m proud of you and even when I am disappointed!
I Promise to LOVE YOU in times of rest and in times if Work!
I Promise to Love you and Honor You no matter what we may face in our future!
I Promise to do my Best to help you fulfill all your Goals and dreams!
AND I Promise to LOVE YOU and CHERISH you always!
GROOM:
I ______ DECLARE in the presence of Family Friend and my Lord Jesus Christ, That I take you ______to be my Wedded Wife for ALL the Days of my Life!
I Promise to LOVE YOU when we are Together and when we are apart!
I Promise to LOVE YOU when our Lives are at Peace and when they are in Turmoil! I Promise to LOVE YOU the I’m proud of you and even when I am disappointed!
I Promise to LOVE YOU in times of rest and in times if Work!
I Promise to Love you and Honor You no matter what we may face in our future!
I Promise to do my Best to help you fulfill all your Goals and dreams!
AND I Promise to LOVE YOU and CHERISH you always!