WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU?
I stopped saying, “what are you going to be when you grow up?”,
to asking
“What kind of person do you want to be Iike when you grow up?”
Your character affects your life much more the your job or career.
Be the kind of person you are looking to marry! Do you want to marry someone who is: Loving, kind, hard working, forgiving, committed, trust worthy and loyal? Be that kind of person! If your not -work in it!
BAGGAGE
What are you bringing into your marriage? We all carry baggage. What’s honestly in your baggage? Unpack it and take time to honestly look at it and access they good, the bad and the ugly. You WILL be bringing into your marriage.
If you have experienced excessive hurt, emotional and physical, you have never learned to communicate, you just stuff your negative emotions down and then explode latter on. If you blame everything on one person and not deal with each individual who hurt you. If you are stuck in an area. If you have been a victim of sexual abuse, exposed to pornography, if you have been manipulated or you manipulate, neglected so you don’t understand how to properly care for someone else. If you are insecure and attention seeking, acknowledge it and work on it.
When you can get married you can have a beautiful relationship if you can acknowledge that you have these areas and start to deal with them. My husband and I had a bunch of problem areas, but we worked together and with God to address them. You don’t deal with everything at once and say, I’m perfect now! I honestly think God designed marriage to help us learn how to love. How to love someone when we’re disappointed in them, when our needs are not being met. When we’re weak and broken to receive love and forgiveness. Marriage itself is a great mystery. God could have designed us to be unisex, where we didn’t need anyone outside of ourselves. But instead God made us in such a way that we have to constantly working on our relationship where stuff has to be dealt with daily! Choosing to love, forgive, be kind, compassionate, thoughtful, be strong and stand, gentle. Learn how to depend on God and honestly pray for help.
When I was thinking about my husband before we were married, I thought about those areas that drove me crazy (and him with me) and times it by ten and thought could I live with him then? The answer was YES! We were like two puzzle pieces that fit together. He knew my weak places that would drive him crazy and they do-still. But I wouldn’t want to be with any other person to work all this out with.
I believe God made marriage to make us into better people.
We’re not lone wolves who go about by ourselves and do what ever we want, however we want,
But we learn to work things through, listen, really listen to the another person, understand what is important to them – put someone before ourselves.
The BIG thought – WE are NOT the center of the universe. We are important, a unique individual created by God, but we are NOT God! God is the center of the universe and God has placed others in our lives for a multitude of reason. One is to make us finer better people.
So now that we have covered some on the important aspects of being a human and carrying around a lot of baggage – are you ready? Are you ready to share this journey of life with someone? An imperfect loved one who will walk this out with you? Who you will pick up when they fall? Who will pick you up when you fall? Who you will LEARN how to love, be concerned for and care for our spouse before your self.
Marriage Mind Set Should Be:
We have something to GIVE. That should be our thought process. Who can I give all my love, affection and attention to? Both people should bring something into a marriage.
Man-take care of, protect, provide love his wife in a way NO ONE else can.
Woman- take care of support, support emotionally, love and care about and for, affection, attention and concern that NO ONE else can.
-Any philosophy of thought that divides men and women are tools in satans hand. (Feminism/red pill) We are actually made for each other. If you can not see that or comprehend that then you are being disingenuous or so brainwashed that you really have to go back of the basics of biology, and read Genesis 2:15–25.
-We are all fallible, and our human nature is sinful so we will have struggles, but if we are WILLING God will help us to be joined together as He designed us to be.
Are you ready to BUILD something together
that would not exist
UNLESS you and your spouse got married
and built it TOGETHER!
A Unique Creation: YOUR FAMILY!
Marriage is building a LIFE together. Each spouse adding and building and making something beautiful…a home, a family filled with love and concern for each other.
Today’s modern culture thinks wrong…at (Trad Wives be like) home wives saying stuff like, My husband pays for me to stay home and take care of him????” WRONG THINK!
Traditional Women Think: My husband brings home the bacon, but I cook it! We are a TEAM! each role is important and has EQUAL VALUE! We are equal, but different. I valued my husbands hard work, and he valued mine. We did end up doing everything differently at different times in life. It came natural. If my husband wasn’t home, I brought out the garbage or had one of the kids do it. When I wasn’t home my husband would cook or get pizza. No biggy it wasn’t a big deal. The big deal is that we WORKED TOGETHER.
Both of our hearts were in building a family and meeting the needs of our family together.
A family is more like a football or basketball team than a swim team. Lots of moving pieces working together getting everything done. It’s a joy most of the time, and hard lots of the time but worth it all the time, irregardless of the hard work and effort necessary it get everything done.
Why do we think it’s going to be easy. Any thing worthwhile in life is hard. It takes hard work to become a lawyer or doctor, hard work to build a million or billion dollar cooperation. why do we think it’s going to be easy to build a healthy happy family. It takes a different kind of effort. An effort that is on a deeper level than running a huge company or successfully saving a persons life in a fire. It’s more raw and vulnerable. We can have a billion dollar company but no one really knows us at our core-we can resuscitate a baby and save its life but they don’t KNOW who we really are. But a wife, husband, children…they really see us. at the core of who we are. Being with our family connects us on a deeper more meaningful level. The essence of who we truly are will be exposed and we will be stretched to be a better more giving person.We don’t use those character muscles as often. We never needed that kind of patience, forgiveness or perseverance before.When we reveal ourselves in such a truly vulnerable way and it’s not received correctly the hurt is deeper than any hurt we can receive, except by our parents. But a loving happy home with God’s help can heal your hurts for your parents.