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HAPPIER & Healthier

Married Couples are Happier & Healthier, they enjoy lifelong support and love <3

Wealthier

Married Couples are MUCH RICHER Then Singles. 86% of Millionaires are Married.

Sexier

Married Couples Have More Sex and more fulfilling sex, then Single People

Who Do To Marry?

MUST BE
Adult -To support themselves, communicate etc (add from other area.
If the person you are dating is not an adult who is able to have a committed relationship your relationship is most likely domed to fail. Abort, jump ship nicely lol but hey are honestly just not ready for marriage. This doesn’t make them a horrible person., just a person not ready for marriage.

Committed -self controlled not to cheat and willing to put in the work necessary at times to stay happily married.

CORE VALUES: 
Have Core Values in Common becase thsi is where you make all of your most important decisions out of.

Don’t worry about hobbies and other likes. It’s good to be good at different things, have different temperaments, have different hobbies. BUT it is NOT good to hav different core values. 

  • Same Religion
  • Shared Vision
  • Common Purpose (want a family, no kids, big family, travel the world)
  • Same Values
  • Same Politics (republicans and democrats should definitely not marry each other lol)

ATTRIBUTES WHICH MAKE FOR HEALTHIER MARRIAGES 

  • Chemistry (your going to be together 40,50, 60 years)
  • Financially responsible
  • College Degree (what to look for if they don’t have a college degree)
  • Makes $50,000+ a year (finances cause the most fights -so being able to cover most bills is   important)
  • Forgiving (a good marriage is made up of two for givers -Ruth Bell Graham)
  • Flexible
  • Hard worker
  • Puts the other person first
  • Low maintenance
  • Is a happy balanced person (self regulates) you will never be able to make them happy.
  • They will need to know how to do that themselves.)
  • No drama
  • Are you a secure person (insecure people cause a lot of unnecessary drama)
  • Bring out the best in each other
  • Want the best for the other
  • Can share 

Attributes Which Results in Long Term Happiness

*Do you see yourself getting old with this person? (Add story-i always said I wanted to grow old together. A part of me imagined and couldn’t wait to see us and what we would do it ur life together. -Bubby came home lets go for walk on boardwalk -there’s a lot of old people OMG were OLD!!!)

***An Appreciative Person

Do you want to be with a person who appreciates you and all you do for them? That they appreciate the type of person you are? What you want in someone else, you should have in yourself. Do you appreciate what you have? Do you make the best of every situation and circumstance?

***Someone Who Stays Engaged 

Daily consistency acts of engagement: Kisses good-bye, 6 second hugs, I love yours, communicating whereabouts. 

Someone who is committed to stay connected to your marriage to communicate, care be concerned and work on and for. They are a diligent person. Diligence means purposefully putting in meaningful effort for a goal. The goal is a happy marriage. It takes a million small daily decisions to make a good marriage. Hugging daily, always kissing goodbye, “I love you’s” daily, communicating small and large, concern for the other person always, striving for the highest standard in your marriage. Understanding priorities God >Spouse >Children >Work

***Someone who shows you unexpected kindness

They are thoughtful and naturally does good things for you. It should be natural and easy. If you love someone you do nice things for them, you actually WANT TO (this would be a sign, if you don’t you want to, then you most likely don’t love them enough to marry them).

***Someone Who Has High Standards

If they have high standards for themselves and for their spouse and marriage relationship, both spouses will try and reach for those standards and have a happier marriage for it. 

***Iron sharpens iron -your spouse hold you both to a high standard in your marriage so your marriage will b better for it. Sloppy standards equals sloppy results. We need to be changed in a healthy regard to reach for the higher ground.

Marriage lasts!

  1. Do they know that love is a choice, not a feeling?
  2. Do they share the same values as you do? (Religion, political, world view)
  3. Do you share the same vision for your future together? Marriage, kids, family, home, business?
  4. Do they share a common purpose -to live a life worth living, filled with hard work, giving of time to those you love and those in the community who need help. Church, ministry, giving?
  5. Do they love well? How do they treat their family, friends, co-workers, servers, those who are around them? 
  6. Are they generous hearted?
  7. Forgives easily
  8. Kind to people (if their kind to others, they’ll be kind to your too!)
  9. They’re not into drama
  10. Do they bring out the best in me?
  11. Do I bring out the best in them?
  12. Do they make me laugh and not make everything into a drama?
  13. Are they mature enough to handle a marriage relationship? (A lot goes into having a marriage work. Are they willing to do it!)
  14. Is their career established or know the direction it is going in?
  15. Strong sense of self. Do they know who they are, so they won’t be insecure which will cause a lot of fighting and misunderstanding.
  16. Do they have a strong family? (If not do they get along with your family? Or want to build one.)
  17. You don’t overthink when your are with them, you can comfortable being yourself.

Doesn’t put on an act to sound better than he is, he is comfortable being himself around me, and I can be myself around him. 

Genuinely shares my faith, for real, no an act.

Before you marry you see all the positives of the other, after you marry you see all the negatives. Do not expect that once you get married all the negatives will go away, actually the opposite happens and they actually increase and drive you more crazy. Can you live with the negatives?

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